The idea of a Window of Tolerance was first introduced by Dr Dan Siegel to describe the optimal zone of arousal within which we can deal with stress / emotional arousal whilst still being able to function.
We all have skills and resources that enable us to manage day to day stress without significant difficulty. Nonetheless, people who have experienced traumatic events in their lives can experience difficulty in remaining within their Window of Tolerance.
What is the Window of Tolerance
When we say we are within our Window of Tolerance, what this means in practice is that we are in the zone where we are able to process our emotions and stressors in a healthy way without becoming significantly dysregulated. This does not mean that we do not feel stress or emotional arousal (in fact, not feeling can also mean being outside of our Window of Tolerance), but it means that we feel the emotion at a level that is manageable and tolerable and that does not affect our ability to carry on with our daily routine.
How trauma and extreme stress can affect our Window of Tolerance
Generally speaking, people who have experienced traumatic events may find it harder to remain within their window of tolerance. This can be due to the ongoing nature of trauma symptoms, that bring the level of stress and emotional arousal higher compared to the our usual baseline.
Imagine that we all have a bucket with a limited capacity, that fills up when we experience stressors in our life. If trauma is already taking some of the bucket's capacity, then it would make sense that our overall capacity to deal with additional stressors is diminished, thus making it harder to regulate our emotions.
Even without having experienced traumatic events, there can also be situations in our lives that take us outside of our Window of Tolerance either because we experience extreme stress all at once, or because we experience continuous stressors over a long period of time, thus not having a chance to connect with activities that would normally enable us to empty the stress bucket and return to our baseline.
What happens when we are outside of our Window of Tolerance
When trauma or extreme stress happen, we can find ourselves outside of our Window of Tolerance, with a diminished capacity to manage the emotion resulting from this. When this happens, we can experience a series responses that indicate we have gone into the "hyper" or "hypo"- arousal states.
Hyper-arousal usually means that our body is responding in a way that triggers our fight or flight response, making us either want to fight or run away from the real or perceived danger (physical and emotional). This can result in us feeling angry, anxious, panicky, out of control, overwhelmed, hypervigilant. I often think about this state as a more explosive emotional state. Some people describe it as feeling a bit like a volcano that is about to erupt.
Hypo-arousal, on the other hand, is a state where our body is responding in a way that triggers the freeze response. What this means in practice is that our brain and body shut down, as an attempt to protect us from the intensity of emotion we are experiencing. This is something that can make us feel better in the short term. However, in the long term it does not enable us to process trauma or stress thus causing more difficulties.
People often describe this state as feeling dissociated, numb, zoned out, low, frozen.
It is important to remember that these responses are not something we choose. They are automatic responses and often our brain and body's best attempt at protecting us.
What can help?
Understanding the way you experience and manage emotion can be a helpful skills to develop in helping you maintain more balance. Being aware of when you may be approaching your limit can allow you to consider what you may need to do in that moment to keep yourself within your Window of Tolerance.
It can be helpful to follow the following steps:
Pay attention to your symptoms - check in with your body and mind
Identify your symptoms - writing these down can be helpful. What is your body feeling? What emotions are you experiencing? What thoughts are going through your mind?
Identify your distress level - how intense is your distress right now?
Identify the cause - are you able to identify what might have led you to feel this way? Remember that sometimes the triggers are not immediate. It could be a build up of smaller triggers or situations overtime that fill your bucket.
Once you are able to have a better understanding of what is happening for you and the types of situations or triggers that can push you outside of your Window of Tolerance, you can begin to think about some of the ways in which you can maintain more balance.
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